


Teach me to live (again)

by Reichenbachstag



Series: Dealing with the aftermath [2]
Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms, Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux, Phantom of the Opera - Lloyd Webber
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Marriage, Minor Character Death, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, this is just sad man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24681163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reichenbachstag/pseuds/Reichenbachstag
Summary: Christine and Raoul leave the Phantom's lair emotionally distraught and with a marriage to consumate. Hijinks ensue.
Relationships: Raoul de Chagny & Christine Daaé, Raoul de Chagny/Christine Daaé
Series: Dealing with the aftermath [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839994
Kudos: 18





	Teach me to live (again)

Breathe in.  
Breathe out.  
It should just be something that comes naturally – just as he should be smiling whilst his bride is led down the aisle toward him.  
But Raoul cannot help but feel that everything about this is wrong and unnatural. Christine – his Christine – is not accompanied by her father but by Professor Valerius instead.  
He only has his sisters who still wear black for his late brother and his wife does not even have immediate family, yet the chapel seems to be bursting with people.  
On another long-gone day, he might have felt excitement at the thought of Christine in a wedding dress now the sight makes him nauseous – seems to tighten the leather stock of his naval uniform around his neck.  
Christine looks about as miserable as he feels and if he isn’t mistaken he can see the tears she is trying to fight back underneath the veil.  
It takes Raoul’s last shred of self-control to not rip apart her veil and his leather stock – to not just free them both and flee past the pews filled with their guests.  
The thing that is part of his uniform and not a rope – as he must remind himself more than once – grows tighter and tighter until he can barely whisper the last part of his vows before god.  
And then she kisses him. Her fingers just barely slip underneath his collar to touch his skin and he sighs in relief just like she had when he had finally taken the veil from her.  
But then it is over and he shakes when the weight of the room falls upon him, knocks the air out his lungs and the rope around his neck prevents him from catching his breath.  
Her husband’s eyes are glassy, and his breaths are so shallow he might as well not be drawing them at all. Christine cannot do much but squeeze his arm and nudge him to finally walk out the chapel with her. And really, she has to look at him because she cannot bear to look down upon herself in the white flowing fabric.  
It would be a lie if she said that she had never thought about wearing white on such a day but now she feels undeserving, far too stained and she fears it will show for everyone to see if she looks at the pure white for too long.  
Raoul turns toward her and whispers into the crown of her hair.  
“They must think I despise you.”  
These six words are the last thing he says to her all afternoon but he does not let go of her hand while he fends of the pats on shoulder and back and while he has to endure the proclamations how proud his late father and brother would be and he is going to be a good Comte.  
Christine knows full well she shouldn’t but she can’t help but silently thank the people who separated marriage before the law and before good with spilled blood as it means that as soon as the last gift is received they can finally board their train to Perros.  
It takes until the sun has almost set but as soon as they are able to change into more appropriate traveling clothes, she pries the leather stock from his neck and persists on him not wearing a necktie. Christine leaves the white cage in a heap on the floor.  
Decency be damned. 

They arrive in the early morning and she worries her husband might fall over with every step he takes his eyes almost to swollen to see and his neck marred with almost bloody marks from when he could not keep himself from scratching.  
Raoul will have to cover it up by wearing something that’ll take his breath away again when they go out in the evening. She is lucky she does not ever have to touch her wedding dress again.  
When they step unceremoniously over the threshold of the De Chagny land house she begins to weep. In her dreams she was singing along to her father’s violin play on that day, now the house lies in silence – it is almost comforting.  
Her husband leaves to the sitting room to pour himself a drink and she leaves to their shared bedchambers to ready herself. Only when she is wearing naught, but her chemise does it down on her what must naturally follow.  
Raoul looks as frightened as she is when he sits on the edge of the bed drink in hand.  
He coughs.  
Once. Twice.  
Then his hand is frantically rubbing his neck again.  
“I- Christine I am sorry…”, it’s a whisper so quiet and hoarse she can barely make out the works.  
He coughs a third time and begins again.  
“If you want me to, I will try – I am not certain I will be able to…”, he stocks and begins to sob.  
Gently she slips the glass out his fingers and sets it down on the nightstand.  
“I am glad! When- when he asked for marriage, I could not help but think of what he might do to me… Raoul you’ve seen his eyes – he’d gone completely mad.”  
He turns to her, relief painting his exhausted features. Then he very slowly wraps his arms around her stilling now and then to meet her eye to see if he is frightening her.  
After what seems like hours his tears seep into her hair and she buries her face in his shoulder and muffles her own crying with it.

**Author's Note:**

> I had a talk with another Raoul stan and this is how this happened. It is absolutely not realistic that they came out unscaved so I made them suffer appropriatly and me along with them.


End file.
